Shainee Chalk said she wanted to crawl into the deepest, darkest hole and pull the hole in on top of herself, after naked photos she had sent in confidence to men ended up on a revenge porn website for the world to see.
She was 21-years-old at the time and the abuse and harassment she would endure as a result of this breach of trust would continue for the next seven years.
Chalk is one of two women being honoured this year through the London Abused Women’s Centre's (LAWC) Shine the Light on Woman Abuse Campaign. The ninth annual campaign was launched Friday at the agency's headquarters on York St.
With her father and sister there to support her, Chalk fought back tears as she shared her story with the dozens of politicians and business leaders in attendance. Chalk said she first became aware that her naked photos, as well as a link to her Facebook account, had been uploaded anonymously to the website in 2011 when strange men began contacting her.
"I don't even have words for how I felt at that moment. My heart was in my throat," said Chalk. "I was scared for what would happen next. I didn't want people to find out and everyone did. I couldn't go anywhere without anyone ever bringing it up. I cried daily and nightly for I don't know how long."
Even after the original site the photos had been posted on was shut down and the man who ran it jailed, Chalk's photos continued to circulate on other revenge porn sites. She would wake up in the morning with hundreds of messages from men she did not know.
"I felt like I couldn't go to the police. I felt like they couldn't help me. I had sent the picture [to my intimate partners] myself and I felt like I deserved what had happened... I know I never deserved this now and no one does," said Chalk.
Even though the experience has left Chalk suffering with depression and mental anxiety, she has chosen to share her story to raise awareness on revenge porn in hopes of preventing other women and girls from becoming victims.
"Revenge porn is not a joke like many people seem to think it is. I am not the first to become a victim of revenge porn, nor will I be the last. I am the first of many I hope will come forward to speak against this. I know how painful it is and I know how it hurts. I know how it can destroy a person," said Chalk. "Revenge porn is abuse and we need to start thinking of it that way, instead of brushing it aside like we always have. It needs to end and it won't end unless we do something."
Shine the Light, a London-born initiative aimed at casting a spotlight on the issue of men’s violence against women, sees dozens of buildings and monuments throughout the city and country bathed in purple light for the month of November. Last year it went international, with groups in Australia and Sweden adopting it. The colour purple is a symbol of courage, survival, and honour.
"We know that all women are potential victims of violence for no other reason than for their gender. We also know that the most dangerous place for women is in their own homes," said Megan Walker, LAWC executive director.
She used the launch of the campaign to issue a call to action to the province's Progressive Conservative government to use its review of the sex education curriculum to add more information to help young girls know their true worth.
"If we are ever going to shift the culture in the future for girls to know that they are equal citizens with equal rights, who are free from oppression, who are human beings - then we need to also include it in a curriculum that teaches boys that women are human beings with equal rights and have the potential for greatness in their lives just like boys do," said Walker.
Two-time Canadian national boxing champion Maddison Fraser is also being honoured through the campaign. Fraser was lured into the sex trade and was killed in an Edmonton car crash in 2015. The car was being driven by an impaired man, who was believed to have been a john.
Fraser's story will be shared by her mother Jennifer Holleman during the Shine the Light campaign's illumination of the Tree of Hope in Victoria Park on November 1.
A full list of upcoming campaign events can be found by clicking here.
Through the month-long initiative, LAWC will be selling long sleeve shirts, scarves, socks, ribbon pins, and purple keychain flashlights to raise funds for front-line services. Those items can be purchased at LAWC’s office at 797 York St.