John and Pauline Quenneville (Photo via Pauline Quenneville Facebook)John and Pauline Quenneville (Photo via Pauline Quenneville Facebook)
Chatham

Pandemic restrictions postpone golden anniversary celebration

A Chatham man who's been separated from his wife due to long-term care home restrictions is determined to make their 50th anniversary as special as ever.

On any other year, John Quenneville and his wife Pauline Quenneville would have celebrated their anniversary in April. However, COVID-19 restrictions made it impossible for John to visit Pauline, who is currently a resident at Meadow Park Chatham long-term care facility.

According to John, Pauline has Alzheimer's as well as fibromyalgia. Before visits to long-term care facilities became restricted in mid-March due to the COVID-19 pandemic, John said he was visiting his wife as often as possible.

"When we were allowed inside, three months ago... I was there every day, in there with her for about two hours a day," he explained.

The restrictions didn't stop John from making sure he kept up with his daily visits. Instead, he made do by visiting Pauline's window every day, where he tried to talk to her as best as he could.

According to John, suddenly not being able to see his long-time love left him with an indescribable feeling.

"The last three months have been almost terror," he said.

With Pauline being in the home for less than a year, 2020 marked the first time the pair wasn't together to celebrate their anniversary. John said the impacts of the pandemic made the hardship that much worse for both of them.

"It really got to me," he said. "We've always been together, we've never separated until now. She's only been in the home since September... So she's still trying to get adjusted too and it's pretty hard when you're by yourself of all a sudden. You don't know what to cook, you don't know how much to cook. It's a real pain in the butt."

John said he never imagined such a milestone occasion would occur during a global pandemic.

"This is a real trial. For the 50th anniversary, you look forward to it, you see other people having it and everything. Then it comes your turn and you can't do it. You want to do it, but you can't," he said.

There was some positive news this past week when the provincial government announced that it will be lifting visitor restrictions at long-term care and retirement homes as of June 18, with strict health and safety regulations in place. Long-term care homes will allow each resident at least one visit per week with a single visitor and all visits must be done outdoors. Physical touch between the residents and their visitors will still be off-limits.

Before the government's announcement, a local high school student had built two “conversation stations” for Meadow Park. Each one features a plexiglass window to allow residents to communicate with their visitors in a more comfortable environment while still practicing social distancing and following mandated protocols.

According to John, he recently got to use the station and see his wife for the first time in three months, something he said he's extremely grateful for.

"I was fortunate that I got to see her for half an hour," he said. "It was just beautiful. I couldn't touch her, couldn't hold her or anything but it sure meant a lot just to be with her."

According to a Facebook post from the company that owns Meadow Park, plans are underway to schedule face-to-face visits on the patio in the coming weeks.

As for having a proper 50th wedding anniversary celebration, John said the plan is to rent out space at a nearby church and have a small get together with loved ones, once it's allowed.

He's hoping it's not too long before it can happen, adding that the celebration will most likely now have to be done in different stages to accommodate families and friends' different schedules.

"A lot of our family is up north. They're looking forward to coming down here for it. Everybody had their rooms books and everything before and then we had to cancel everything until we can get in. So we're still waiting for that," he said.

All this comes as Pauline's deteriorating condition results in fluctuating moods and varying degrees of extreme emotion. John said most times he visits her, she has to be reminded of who he is and why he is there.

Although Pauline might no longer remember the plans they made for the anniversary, John said there's nothing that can come in the way of the couple celebrating the vows they took five decades ago.

"She's forgotten all about it now," he said. "I remind her we're still going to have our party and she says 'what party?' I tell her we're going to have a lunch and everything and have people come out and see us."

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